I'm not sure what to think of this year, to be honest. In ways, I could consider this year to be a ringing disappointment. Not only did I not finish any sort of full-length story, let alone write even 10,000 words of an original novel, but my goals of going out more sort of fell through after school started once more. I haven't made too many new friends, although I have met more people that I expected to. I was determined to update my journal on a regular basis, and now I'm lucky to update more than six times in a month. I didn't end up reviewing books promptly, giving up halfway through the year. I haven't become more outgoing, although that was one of my goals. I feel like I have just stayed right where I am; it seems like I haven't grown at all.
Looking under the surface, however, I see that so much has happened this year. For better or for worse, I am growing up. I am learning more about the world around me, becoming a woman. I had my first kiss this year, with a boyfriend that I did enjoy being with, although I haven't talked to him since he broke up with me over the answering machine in September, and the fact that there is no real closure there does not help my attempts to just stop thinking about it. My political views also evolved. Just a few months ago, I was sighing at Maine for allowing gay marriage -- but now I am in support of allowing gays to marry, after thinking seriously about the rights involved in marriage, and how everyone deserves those rights.
My writing has also improved drastically this year. Although I have not been doing a lot of writing, I find that I am able to express myself better. This year has taught me how to write a good essay, how to write a good short story, how to write a journal entry that people can relate to. I might not have written as much as I would have liked to, and even failed NaNoWriMo this year, but all in all, I am proud of my writing this year. I have written some good stories, and as a fifteen-year-old, it gives me a strong boost of confidence in my writing when people say that it is some of the best they have ever seen.
The thing that I regret the most this year is the way that I have fallen away from God. Although I am forever grateful to my sister for getting me to go back to church (although that might change, as she is now too sick to take me to and from church every Sunday morning), I find that I am not trusting in God the way I should. I regret that deeply, and I want to try and become a better Christian this year. And that does not mean going to church and reading my Bible. It doesn't mean that I am going to suddenly exclaim that everyone who doesn't believe exactly the way I do is going to hell. That's not the type of person I am, and that is not the type of person that God wants me to be either. I hope that by starting to read the Bible once more, I will be able to grow in my faith and become a gentler person, because I know that I haven't always been perfectly kind this year.
This year has been the year of the TV shows starting with a G. First, I discovered Glee, when the pilot first came out in May, I think? I enjoyed the first episode, but when it came back on in September (October?), I fell in love with it. Puck/Rachel is one of my favorite couples on that show, but it does not eclipse my OTP on another show, Greek. Although Greek is not as popular as it should be, primarily because of my other favorite show, Gossip Girl, which airs at the same time, it is a great show and Cappie/Casey are as cute as can be -- and they finally got together. Gossip Girl is also a show I just discovered this past week and clearly, it is everything I ever wanted in a TV show and more. Although season 3 is not quite as good as the other two, the fact that THE couple on the show, Chuck/Blair, finally got together is exciting.
So, all in all. This year has been a good year. I feel that I have grown in some ways, but I still have a lot of growing to do. I might have discovered where I wish to go to college (Amherst, Williams), but getting into those colleges is going to take a lot of work. I'm up to it, though, and I have a feeling that 2010 is going to be a good year.
Which brings me to my New Years' Resolutions. Although I do not entirely believe that they work, it doesn't hurt to make them, does it?
1. Read more. I haven't been reading as much as I would like to, so that should change in the coming year.
2. Update LJ more.
2a. Write book reviews in a timely fashion.
3. Start writing in my GORGEOUS paper journal that my dad bought me for Christmas.
4. Get out more (games, school events, church events, with friends).
5. Stop being so self-conscious about my appearance.
6. Eat healthier.
7. Read the Bible every day.
8. Make a new friend.
9. Discover at least one new TV show/author/band that I didn't know about prior to 2010.
10. Write more original fiction.
10a. Start work on, and finish, Yulian.
I think that's about it.
While I'm at it, regarding one of my resolutions: Since there are more people on my friends list than usual, are there any books you'd recommend me reading during the new year? I always look forward to book recommendations, and I am not quite sure what my next few books are going to be, once I finish Frankenstein and Team of Rivals. I did this same post last year, and I got some awesome recommendations. I like anything, by the way!