callistahogan: (Default)
I can't believe that summer is almost over. There is really less than a month until school starts up again, and it seems like just yesterday I was getting out of school. I'm not ready for summer to be over, though, because I have loved this summer, and I don't want it to end.

It all started with the Friday after I got out of school. You see, I was invited to paint a Lord of the Rings mural for the teen room in my library. It took only about three weeks to finish. That was definitely a surprise, because we thought it would take much longer than that. We did all four walls, starting from Bag End (with Bilbo and Gandalf smoking) and going all the way around the room, ending with the Scourging of the Shire and Valinor. It was so much fun too, and though most of us kind of just hung around the room watching my best friend do everything, it took us less time than we thought.

After we finished the mural, I thought I would go back to being bored out of my mind, doing nothing, but I was very wrong. One of the guys from the mural seemed to like me, and so after the mural work ended, we started hanging out with each other. The Friday after we finished, he asked me to go out with him, and so we've been dating for about three weeks. It will be a month this coming Friday.

I also had my first kiss with this guy, which was... amazing, as I said in a post a few weeks ago. We both seem to really like each other. I just miss him a lot, because he's at his lakehouse with his cross country team and I can't see him until August 10. :( He is calling me tonight, though, luckily.

If that isn't enough, a couple weeks ago, I also participated in VBS at my church, taking pictures. Add onto that watching the extended versions of the Lord of the Rings with my friends, my cousins coming up, and getting into photography like my dad, brother and sister, and you can see why I have not updated much lately. I have just been swamped, doing things constantly.

So I thnk it's understandable that I haven't updated much lately because, while I have had a bit of time to do so, I've just been so exhausted that I didn't feel like updating. However, things are slowing down, so this next month should bring more updates -- and more book reviews!

I haven't finished a book for six weeks or so (ouch), but I do have four books finished that I haven't written reviews on yet and one book I am about halfway through at the moment. I'm thinking I'll finish The Naming by Alison Croggon, write short reviews on those five books, and then start up with my long reviews after I finish the next.

I will try to update more often!
callistahogan: (Heart Icon)
I had my first kiss today.

And it was amazing.

callistahogan: (Heart Icon)
I am feeling exceedingly happy at the moment. It will take a little explaining to get to the reason why I'm so happy, though.

You see, for the past three weeks, ever since the Friday after school ended, I have worked on a Lord of the Rings mural in the library's teen room. My friend, and some of her other friends were working on it with us, including this really awesome guy that I completely like. And at first, it seemed he didn't like me that much, but after a while we started hanging out more. He initiated hugs, was very nice to me, and yesterday and today, we just kind of hung out. Yesterday, we played LotR Monopoly, but today, we spent the whole day outside, just cuddling.

So he seems to really like me, and I really like him too. He's nice too, very unlike my last boyfriend. We're not officially "dating" yet, but I have a feelng we will be soon. He's kind of dorky, but funny, and it's just so comfortable with him -- and normally, I'm not very comfortable being close to people, but I don't mind being really close to him.

We're going to hang out tomorrow and walk the Breakwater (a mile-long stone path that leads out to the lighthouse on the water), then get some lunch and look out over the harbor like we did earlier today.

I just... am so happy. He's amazing and sweet and funny and just completely fun to hang out with. I never wanted him to leave. I seriously can't wait until tomorrow, 'cause we'll be hanging out all day. And who knows? I might  even get my first kiss. To expand on what we both said to each other this afternoon, there's  no one I'd rather have it with. :)
callistahogan: (Heart Icon)
[Error: unknown template qotd] This is a very sensitive topic for me, because the answer is most definitely yes. I'm not proud of this fact, but I have tried to change myself to stay in a relationship. It was more than a year ago now, but I still remember. I will never forget, and I am not proud of it.

I tried to push my faith in the background. I tried to always agree with the person I loved (did I love him? It's hard to tell, now. I like to believe I did), for fear of hurting him. I walked on eggshells, and ended up succumbing and making him happy, instead of making me happy.

Needless to say, it didn't work -- and the way that particular relationship ended still haunts me to this day.
callistahogan: (Life)
I broke up with my boyfriend on Wednesday.

Because I really don't feel like going through the whole stupid mess again (I'm close to tears already without thinking about what else happened), I'll just copy and paste what I wrote to a friend in Facebook a few days ago:

Relationship was very good at the beginning, with us holding hands and everything at the movies, rumors surfaced where people thought he liked someone else, the rumors were (seemingly) proven false, this happened twice, I found out on Friday that he was a Satanist, on my way to the caf to get a Poptart Tamika came up to me and said that he broke with me when he didn't, at lunch he showed me this song that was all "Hail, Satan, Satan will help us and enlighten us, blah, blah, blah," in gym Tamika told me more about how he's liked her for a while and how he said that he had broken up with me when he hadn't and how he tried to separate her and her boyfriend so they could be together, I tried to break up with him and he ignored me (twice), and swore and cursed and ranted about me to Tamika, and wouldn't let me talk to him. Basically, he's good-for-nothing, pathetic and doesn't deserve me at all. I haven't broken up with him yet, but I will.


That was Tuesday.

The next day, I went up to my ex and broke up with him without too much pain, saying "It's over. Entirely," and then just walking away. I felt guilty, mad, depressed, worried, etc., about the break-up, but thought things would eventually just blow over.

Unfortunately, that wasn't to be.

Either that day or the day after (the days blur together), one of the people who first got us together said that the reason he had been so rude and obnoxious to me Tuesday was because his sister had died that day four years ago, and he was feeling upset/hurt/angry about it. I didn't say anything, or if I did, I didn't say whether I believed him or not. Even though I did.

However, today, during gym, when I was about to change up, someone else (the person who had told me that he had "broken up" with me) said that someone had told him that I hadn't believed him when he said his sister died, and is now angry at me. I don't even want to know what he thinks of me, honestly. He probably thinks I'm a nasty little you-know-what.

But I can't let him have that impression of me, I want to make things right and maybe even be his friend even though things will never go beyond that, so I have to do something. I tried apologizing before school was over, but he just walked away and is really angry at me.

So... guys, please help.

How can I make this right? I'm not that kind of person, and I need to talk to him.
callistahogan: (Default)
Gah, I told myself I wouldn't write anything else about my boyfriend, but we went on our first date, and I just... am so happy right now.

We didn't do anything fancy, just went out to see a movie (The Uninvited), but it was so nice. Even though we've only been dating for a few days, ever since Friday afternoon, he bought me a little pink bear for Valentine's Day, which is so cute, and so nice, and really just reinforces it, that he really does like me. That makes me feel so much more comfortable.

We also held hands for the entire hour and forty minute movie. It was so comfortable too. It didn't seem awkward or forced or anything, even though I was sure my hand was just slightly sweaty. It was just quite natural, and it was kind of sad when the movie ended and we had to part.

While we were waiting for the movie to start, I learned a lot about him. He is the typical guy, really: athletic, into scary movies and video games, but when he comes to me, he's sweet and kind and funny. And we both didn't really get the movie, which was nice. It wasn't scary, either, which was even nicer.

He said that he was going to call me later, but the phone is in my dad's room and he's going to bed, so I guess he'll just have to call me in the morning. Hopefully, we'll do something soon, because I really want to get to know him better, and I'm pretty sure he wants to get to know me.

Okay, enough gushing. I'll stop; there's got to be something I can talk about in my next post.
callistahogan: (Default)
I know that some of you are probably not celebrating this holiday at all, but I just had to say it, because for once, I'm actually not single today!

Last night, I told my dad that I had a boyfriend, because he is going to call quite often as long as we're dating, and I know that he should know if I am going to be dating. At first, he went through the gut "You're in big trouble" spiel, and then, he gave me a bit of a lecture on how the guy is not a Christian and how I shouldn't be dating him because of that. My brother did too (he's a lot more conservative than my dad is, so he gave me more of a lecture than my father did), but today, my dad apologized, saying this should be an exciting time, and gave me money to go out to the movies with him tomorrow.

There are some chick movies I want to watch (Shopaholic, He's Just Not That Into You), but I won't subject him to that sort of torture on our first date (eee, a first date! That brings such a huge smile to my face). I know from the fact that he went to see Friday the 13th with some of his buddies that he likes scary movies, so I think we might go see The Uninvited.

Not that it'll be scary to him, but it'll be scary to me.

Might not actually go to the movies, because he just went, but if we don't, we can think of something else to do.

Sorry my posts are so oriented around relationship-type things the past few entries, but can you really blame me? :D
callistahogan: (Default)
So, I have a boyfriend.

The guy came out and told me how he felt, so I ended up believing him. Apparently, though, there was a misunderstanding: at drivers' ed yesterday, one of my friends told me that she thought that he had denied liking me, and I did hear three different stories, but some of his closest friends said that he liked me, so... I'm going to give him a chance. Two of the three stories said that he does like me, and it is entirely possible that my friend inadvertently heard him wrong.

Honestly, though, my mind was so off today; all I could do was think of him. In gym, it seems like he really does like me, too.

We exchanged phone numbers (squee!), and he's going to call me later. I hope we can maybe hang out during February break.

This whole day has been so much like a book.  It's so strange, stuff like this happens all the time in teen novels.

callistahogan: (Default)
I am confused.

I suppose this all started in gym class, when someone came up to me and said that the guy I had been eyeing lately had a crush on me, or thought I was pretty. I am just not quite sure if I believe it, because he is a bit older than me, but the person who told me has been known to be trustworthy, so I'm trying to figure out if she's telling the truth.

If she is, then I might actually end up getting a boyfriend.

I just find it hard to believe. So, I ended up saying that, if he likes me, prove it to me. Not sure if that was the wisest move ever, but I actually want to hear it from him, y'know?

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