Evangelism

[callistahogan]

Oh, how that word is hated.

Whenever a Christian labels themselves as an evangelist, many non-Christians sort of shy away. Some people who don't know what that means (even though most do) ask what it means and, as soon as that Christian says that they're dedicated to helping people come to Christ, they look at each other and spew things about how Christians "aren't tolerant about other worldviews" and how "those fundamentalist Christians are going to bring [insert country name here] down!"

It's even worse for a conservative Christian evangelist, and it can't get much worse for someone who just happens to be a conservative Christian evangelist and a creationist.

And I'm all of those things.

I'm conservative.

I am a strong Christian.

I am a strong evangelist, considering my spiritual gift is clearly evangelism.

And I am a strong creationist.

So, considering I am a thirteen-year-old girl trying to make a difference while also being a conservative Christian, an evangelist, and a creationist, it's hard for me to make a difference. Thirteen-year-olds aren't typically able to make a difference, since most of them are (and I hate to say this) immature, and Christians are already getting looked down upon for being "against science" or "stuck in their ways" or "intolerant" or any number of other things.

But I am not going to stop standing up for my beliefs.

And I am not going to stop witnessing to the people around me. Sure, most of the people don't listen--I will never cease to be amazed by all the people absolutely unwilling to entertain the notion of a creator for a moment, let alone the idea that Christianity just might be correct--but... I am not one to give up. I am going to stand firm in Christ and continue to witness. 

Only someone who has the gift of evangelism like me, or a fellow brother or sister in Christ can understand that deep NEED in me to witness. Only a true Christian can understand how strongly I want to see the people around me come to Christ, to be able to witness and have Christ open their eyes. The world around me never understands why I try to tell them about this, but... that's okay.

Because I don't really need anyone in this world to understand.

Jesus Christ understands. He commanded me to do this. He gave the gift to do this, and He is leading me on the way to becoming a strong Christian speaker and--who knows?--perhaps an author. Even though I am very rarely able to speak in public, I just feel a need to speak to people, to tell them about Jesus, to tell them about the good Jesus did in this world, how amazing He is, and how He utterly changed my life.

Jesus... Jesus has given me hope.

Before, I had so little hope. I couldn't see how things could possibly get better. I let myself slip farther and farther into that pocket of--let's come right out and say it--depression that I had somehow found myself in. I was struggling to do things on my own, finally realizing that I couldn't.

And... then, I reached out blindly for Christ. I latched on gently at first, of course, but He kept His firm hold on me, making it so that I could bring my other hand up to Him, latching onto Him so tightly that I never want to let go of my Savior ever again.

In a previous journal entry, I said that Jesus--one part of the Trinity, the Lord God--was love.

But he's also hope.

He's so much hope and, whenever I think about this hope, I can't stop thinking of this verse:

1 Peter 3:15: "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear."

I am already doing that first part as best as I can. I absolutely hate it when people use the Lord's name in vain, saying "oh my god" and "Jesus Christ!" constantly. Why do they use Jesus' name in vain? Maybe I'm just being uptight, but I just... don't like it. I know that I can't change it, but it's just one of those things that bug me. Since I can't change it, however, I just turn the other cheek, trying not to pay attention.

For the second part, though, I know that I have so much hope that Jesus has supplied. I have the hope of eternal salvation and life, of being with my Lord and Savior after I die, but one of the hardest things in the world to do is tell others about that faith. Considering this world is quickly slipping into a materialistic worldview ("matter is all there is, all there was, and all there ever will be"), it's so hard to believe there's something else out there, and it's even harder to talk to someone who doesn't believe there is anything like a God out there. Even though I see the evidence and proof of my God everywhere, so many people don't.

Witnessing is... so hard. Just when you think you're making a difference, something happens, you accidentally say the wrong thing, and... bam. You're right back where you've started. However, that's one of the things that keeps me hanging on, witnessing more and more to my friends. Even though I don't go out and say things like "you're going to hell if you don't believe," I want them to understand the gospel. I want them to see something different in me, something they can't find in anyone else.

If they see that... if they see that... then... people will probably want to know what it is that's different.

And, even though it's sometimes hard to witness, I won't just stop. If they are genuinely interested in learning, rather than debating, I won't hesitate to talk to them. With my friend, M, we've had quite a few conversations and, even though it didn't make much of a difference, what I said seemed to make sense. One of my hopes is that it did make a difference, that she is thinking on what I said.

Though, if she doesn't see that difference, if they don't see that difference, then me just spewing things about Jesus Christ won't make a difference.

And I need to try harder.

I am NOT going to stand back. I know that many of my friends won't understand why I'm doing what I am, but so what? I'm not afraid of  getting pushed back, of not being accepted. I was, but I'm not anymore. If I'm going to be who I am in this world, I'm going to have to stay strong and stay close to the Word.  

Evangelism is my calling.

Being a Christian is the single most important part of my personality. Being a Christian has shaped who I am today.

And I am not going to let anyone take my hope away.

I love Jesus Christ.

And... I want everyone else to love him too, even though I won't force them to.

But... yes. That's all I have. In my heart of hearts, I am an evangelist. If some people don't agree with it, I'm not just going to change it to make them happy. If people genuinely want to know about my Christian faith (I prefer faith more than religion), then I'll be happy. But I've gotten into enough debates for quite a while, and I'm, frankly, getting sick of them.

So, drop a comment if you're going to listen, but if you just want to debate, either keep your comments to yourself or try to keep them toned down.

(And, yes, I need a disclaimer. Sad, but that's the way it is, I suppose.)