Dare You To Move

I did not think it was possible for my homework load to get any heavier than it was on Monday, but yesterday, it was surpassed by quite a lot. Starting from four, I worked steadily until ten o'clock at night. I had Cinema, Geometry, English, Biology, French, and Foundations homework, and most of it was reading and writing responses, close-reading a text, writing notecards, doing math problems, stuff that can't be done in just a few minutes when you get home from school, with no thought involved. With my homework, you actually had to think it through and work through the problems, and it took quite a while.

Adding it all together, I ended up doing about twelve hours of school yesterday. Sure, I took about a two hour break after school, but it is just ridiculous, the amount of work I have. I didn't even know it was possible to do homework for six hours straight, but apparently it is -- and trust me, I never want to do it again (although it is pretty much a given that I will be). I just hope that one of those crazy, six-hour days doesn't end up happening during November, or I will die. Just keel over and die.

At least I have a school laptop, so that'll make it easier to do work. And I am getting my old laptop back today, hopefully... and then getting a Dell mini within the next three weeks or so...

Yes, I am going from having no laptops to having three. How, I have no clue, but I do know that I am extraordinarily lucky in that way. But not in the way of homework.

In that way, I am going to either sink or swim.

Just got in my grades for my second semester.

Got all As. Lowest grade was a 94.

YES. :D

I haven't posted in a week, which is really making me feel like I am a lot more boring than I thought.

Today was a bad day, though.

First, I had two presentations, one in World Studies and one in Accelerated Physical Science. The one in Accelerated Physical Science was not that bad, as I had someone to save me from doing terrible artwork (as I am wont to do), but in World Studies, I made the mistake of using glue to stick flimsy little pieces of paper to a posterboard, and guess what? It got all wrinkly.

So my poster looked terrible. (However, the good thing is that I didn't have to present today, so I am going to redo my poster and bring in a better one tomorrow. Now I have glue sticks!)

And then, I got a bit of money from one of my friends to buy a Poptart. For the past couple weeks, they had been a dollar for two, ridiculously enough, but today, I got back a quarter... and thought it was fifty cents, probably because they lowered their price and I thought, because my brain wasn't working, that they lowered it to the original price of fifty cents. So I tried buying a bag of chips, and those were fifty cents.

So I ended up looking like an idiot in front of a few people when I tried insisting that I had fifty cents, not twenty-five, and when I finally realized it, I grew so embarrassed and nearly cried about the day. Everything just built up, from having to take the bus to having the bad presentation to making another fool out of myself in front of high schoolers, and honestly...

That wasn't the end of it.

You see, last night, I dropped my laptop. I thought it was fine, but lo and behold, I ended up breaking my wireless card. I mean, entirely, smashing it, crushing it, bending it, the whole nine yards. So I am now typing this on my stupid, old hunk of junk computer, remarking on the loudness of the keyboard and feeling just a little fed-up and frustrated.

At least I'm not crying anymore.

And, to look on the bright side, at least I can redo my poster. And I have this computer, which just makes me feel so grateful that it didn't end up breaking down. Praise the Lord, I say. :)

I suppose I can read more, too.

Speaking of which, I finished a book, Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld, which I absolutely adored. A review might be coming today on it.

I'm capable of writing every day, I am. My life isn't that boring, honest.

It's just that I've gotten caught up in this whole culture appropriation debate that is going on, and I have suddenly grown so determined to learn as much as I can about what's going on that I have been reading everything possible about racism/culture appropriation/white privilege, and am very much looking forward to getting through all the posts over at ibarw.

I am learning so much too. Now that I think about it, and I mean really think about it, I see the inherent... lack, I guess you could say, of credible, nice, intelligent, passionate POC in books and TV. Off the top of my head, I can only think of three POC off the top of my head that are presented positively in books and movies, but one is a minor character.

The three characters are Foreman from House (who, incidentally, presented me with the first instance of an interracial relationship I've seen on TV), Lee Jordan from Harry Potter (who is black, I think, but I haven't read those books for so long that I can't even remember, which is so sad), and Stephen Black from Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, the book I am reading right now.

And all three of these characters are black.

I can't think of any Asian characters presented positively. Or Chinese characters. Or Japanese characters. Or any other race other than black or white. I'm interested in seeing if anyone else can, because I can't think of any.

But anyway. I said in my post a few days ago that I probably shouldn't discuss this until I learn a lot more.

--

I am very worried/intrigued/apprehensive/hopeful about what President Obama is going to do next. I'm shocked at what he's managed to pass through so quickly and, for the most part, I'm... okay with what he's done.

Closing Guatanamo was probably something that had to be done. And the Global Gag rule, how he repealed the ban on abortion provision and information being taught overseas, might (key word: might) be okay with me as long as they don't present abortion as a simple "getting rid of excess tissue." They need to present abortion as murder, a killing, of an innocent life.

It is my view that abortion should only be necessary if the woman's life is at risk and, even then, a woman should not... rush into an abortion. They should access themselves, the situation, understand what abortion is, before they decide what they are going to do. It should not be used as a "get out of jail free" card, or something akin to that.

And as for doubling our clean energy sources over the next three years?

Can I just say yesyesyes to that?

I know I might not agree with Obama on some things, but I'm feeling kinda hopeful. He can't keep up this pace, but I'm happy with most of the things he's done so far.

--

School.

My first semester of high school is officially over. I'm sure I passed my finals with flying colors (my final grades go something like 96, 97, 98, 99), but I definitely didn't want my first semester to be over. Mr. P was awesome and, while I didn't enjoy some of my classes, I didn't hate them like I'm sure I will hate gym this semester.

*glares into the distance*

If I could still graduate without gym, I would. But no, I need two gym credits before I can graduate. *grumbles* Which I find stupid, because no one really tries in gym, so it's not as though you get an exercise, and isn't there so many more valuable courses you can take? Like creative writing.

Enough complaining, though. At least having gym means that I have at least one class I won't have any homework in. 

--

As for books, it is taking me ages to get through Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke. I've been reading it for two weeks now, and I'm just barely halfway through it. It's not even that I don't like it. It is just slow-going, as I had been warned. But I can't help it; I always have to prove people wrong, or try to, at least.

I can't do it this time, but I can't wait until I finish this book, because then I can read my president's two books. And A Companion to Wolves, by Elizabeth Bear (matociquala) and Sarah Monette (truepenny). I really want to see what all the fuss is about, especially considering their parts in the culture appropriation debate this month.

I am so looking forward to those books, but mostly President Obama's. Has anyone read them? What'd you think?

It seems so strange, thinking that I haven't updated in six days. I just... haven't had very much to talk about lately, or if I do, I just can't think of how to put it into words. A lot has happened in the past six days, though, and being bored out of my mind has given me a lot of time to think.

First off, there are only about two weeks left in the first semester of this year, and finals are coming up in about eight days. I'm feeling pretty confident about all of them, but half of my English final is making me a little worried.

You see, we have to put on a scene from Romeo and Juliet, and I'm working with my friend, OG (Obnoxious Guy, in case you can't remember). If you've read the play, we're putting on the scene very early on in the play, when Benvolio and Romeo are talking, and Romeo is explaining to him about Rosaline, how he's "in love" with her, and Benvolio asks him to look at other beautiful women, to get Rosaline out of his head. And it's a great scene, showing their friendship, but I just happened to choose to do Romeo. Which means I have to memorize 65 lines.

In two weeks.

Of course, this is coming from the girl who memorized twenty-six lines of Romeo's balcony speech, so I'm not too worried. I have a little less than two weeks, and if I do a little of it every day, I'm sure I'll be able to do it. Am thinking I'll ask OG to get together next Saturday or something so we can practice together. Maybe we'll go in that little room behind the nonfiction section so we can practice without anyone staring at us strangely. (No one really goes into the nonfiction section, unless some seniors are hanging out in that same room.)

Speaking of that play, though, I have to agree with the people who say that Romeo and Juliet are both way too hasty, headstrong, and more in lust than in love, for sure. I'm reading it, and honestly, it doesn't seem they're really in love at all. They're attracted to each other, yes, but it's more infatuation, not love. They know nothing about each other, and you know, they're so willing to throw their lives away. I can think of two times right off the top of my head, maybe more. I can't help thinking how much this tragedy might've been avoided if Romeo and Juliet had come clean about their feelings at the beginning.

Regardless of that, I can see the appeal. It is written cleanly and, even though it seems as though it rambles on and on, it is so precise; in that scene I'm putting on, I couldn't think of a single line to cut. And that's surprising.

Um, okay, this post is going on way too long, but I have so much more to say, so I'll just put the rest under the cut.

( Read more... )

My throat is so dry today. Sometimes it just gets this way and I have no clue why. At least it only lasts a day, maybe two if it's really bad, so it should be better tomorrow. I still feel kind of blah, though that could have something to do with the fact that I thought I was going to have no school or at most a half day and ended up having to go a full day.

Bleargh.

And there's this really annoying guy that I talk to during classes and, while he's not annoying, he's actually kind of nice, but UGH. Today he was just obnoxious. Of course, that's probably just my stupid hormones lately. They've been wonky.

I read about seventy pages of The Portable Atheist today, which is quite a few considering how some of the earlier atheists wrote.

I also have a new favorite song, Favorite Christmas Story by Capital Lights. It's so sad, but it's just AH. Amazing.

Here's a video, though not very good. I'd recommend you all give it a try. :)

I am stuck on my materialism essay.

And it's due TOMORROW.

This is all I have. Nothing else at all.

It's all around us, lurking around corners of stores all over the country. We see it in television shows across a wide range of channels, and even in our own homes, infecting us with an intense desire to buy in order to find fulfillment. This phenomenon is simply the latest manifestation of a rather strange philosophy: materialism. Most Americans don't see it, but the truth is simple. If materialism continues to grow in today's culture, so too will greed, commercialization, and indifference toward the plights of those around them.

In its most basic form, perhaps materialism is not dangerous. Materialism, to put it as simply as possible, is the theory or attitude that physical well-being and worldly possessions constitute the greatest good and highest value in life. Objectively speaking, it is possible to uphold this view of the world and still retain a sense of emotional connection to something outside one's physical well-being and worldly possessions.

Help?

*sigh*

You know that materialism essay? The one I enjoyed writing? The one I thought I was going to do so well on?

Well.

It turns out I did pretty badly on it, as did the entire class. The highest grade was an 86, and I got an 84, along with quite a few other people, namely one of my guy friends, who I thought had a much weaker essay than I did. But apparently not. Both of our essays were weak, but for very different reasons.

My friend's essay was weak because it was poorly organized, rather vague, and had quite a few grammatical issues in it. And while my introduction was strong, I "fell down," as Mr. P put it, on backing up my claims. It was vague, too generalized, and did not have enough concrete support. My "diction" was great, my introduction made him excited to read it, but... I pretty much bombed, considering how well I thought I was going to do on the essay.

So I was quite upset. I thought for sure that I had done well on it, and to see all those red marks on a paper I was proud of just a few minutes ago was something that I wasn't quite ready to see. However, I soon realized that hey, it's constructive criticism, he has good points, and I'm determined to make my essay better than it was.

And if that means that I have to scrap everything but my introduction and start all over?

So be it.

(Which, you know, I've already pretty much decided I'm going to do that. I am going to get a good grade on this essay. Above a 95. I'm determined. Speaking of which, do any of you have any articles/statistics/etc. that would back up a claim saying materialism is bad for modern culture? Thanks a billion times if you do. It would help so much.)

--

I know I said that I was probably going to finish Dust today, but I started reading All the Windwracked Stars, and wow, is that book amazing. I believe it's matociquala's (sweet, I spelled her name right on the first try!) most recent book, and I adore it. Muire and Kasimir? Pure love. :)

So, needless to say, that'll probably be the next book I'll finish. And then I'll have to tell my friend (look above) that I'm done with it, because he wants to read it as well.

It's also kind of fun to have an author this good on your F-list, even though it's not mutual. Just reading her posts and seeing how utterly normal she is just... warms my heart, really. And her posts are always great to read. So are her books!

I have a love/hate relationship with homework.

(I almost wrote "I have a love/hate homework with homework" there... I think I do need to get more sleep. Desperately.)

On the one hand, I hate homework because it prevents me from being able to write on my NaNo (since I procrastinated early this morning, I only reached 32K). I also hate homework if it comes to the Algebra or too-much-typing-on-serious-stuff English questions. I also hate it because it occasionally strikes me as absolutely pointless.

On the other hand, I love it because the English homework makes me feel really smart when my English teacher contemplates me on my writing and my insight (which he has done several times already, BTW). I also like it because I love being able to answer the aforementioned too-much-typing-on-serious-stuff English questions, especially when I can dig out my Bible and do cool Job/Elie Wiesel comparisons. Those were very fun. As was the whole "Describe how Elie's relationship with God changed during the duration of Night."

Those were really nice.

But now I am tired. Again.

I need sleep.

*plops down in bed and sleeps*

My post yesterday didn't say much, I think. I just ended up talking about my English teacher, but more has been going on than that. And since my brain has gone kaput, I won't even bother putting it in some coherent manner. So excuse the possibly-incoherent nature, please.

• Research Papers: I have one of those evil things due October 31st. It is on French Polynesia, and I have no clue how to start it. Most of my research is already done, but my French teacher's stress on thesis statements seems to be prohibiting my creativity, or something. It's not deliberate, obviously, but I hate trying to force myself into a mold of what I believe the teacher wants, and I feel as if that's what I have to do. So I'm trying to just forget about the thesis and just write it. Oh, and then start that stupid visual, which I have to finish by October 31st. *sigh* So freakin' busy.
• California's Proposition 8: Is it a bad thing if I am irrationally interested in the results of this? I mean, I live on the opposite side of the country, but I can't wait until I hear the results. I have my own views on this issue, but in interest of not starting a debate, I'll keep those issues to myself. Honestly, I think this is one of the most important things (a portion of) America is voting about this year.
• Elections: Is it over yet? It seems as if it's just getting dirtier and dirtier as the days tick by. There's only about ten days left, but it feels like ages. John McCain doesn't look like he has much of a chance to win, unfortunately, and I have no clue what to think of Barack Obama. I will soon see, though.
• Objections to Christianity: Recently one particular issue in regards to Christianity has been coming up constantly. This issue is summed up easily: "What gives Christianity the right to force their views on other people? Why can't I believe what I wish?" Or in other words: "I don't like being commanded or forced to believe in a religion. After all, there can't be just one true religion, can there?" I feel strongly on this issue and wanted to write a post about it, but couldn't figure out how to word it correctly. I might write it sometime this week, if people want to hear it, that is.
• NaNoWriMo: Eeeeeek. There are only six days and two hours left until NaNo starts. This is exact; at the time of writing this post it is 10:01. I have quite a few things planned out so far, but I still have to flesh things out. I am now officially going into "panic mode." That is, I'm freaking out about not reaching 50K, even though I know I'll be able to do it. I just tend to go into a mode where I am second-guessing myself. That'll go away once I've got about 20K, though.

• NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month): I'm doing this, I think. Expect lotsa updates in November about NaNo and me moaning/celebrating it. Oh, and if I don't seem to post by say, seven my time, kick me. 'Kay, thanks. :D
• Brisingr by Christopher Paolini: I think the fact that I have yet to finish this book after a week says everything. This book isn't bad, not at all, but... wow. There are so many things I would change. The book could be cut in half and it would go over the same thing. If it was cut in half, it would have been good thing after good thing after good thing, but as it is, it is just blah. The dialogue is choppy (I mean, honestly, who ends a statement by saying "Those are my thoughts"? And why must everyone speak in such a formal language?), and it just doesn't appeal to me at all. However, it's a decent book. I should have it done tomorrow. I hope.
• HSM3: I want to watch this movie. That is all.
• Um, me?: I think I've been discovering a lot about myself lately. I feel as though I'm growing as a person, just by looking back at my reactions. For example, this morning I nearly had a fit and deleted my previous post because my brain kept saying "ugh, my last post was so stupid, why don't I just delete it now?" This just shows the fact that I am too insecure for my own good. And I remember a time when I was young, when I was determined that I would never get insecure, that I would always be comfortable in my own skin.