callistahogan | LJ Idol: Week 0

Compared to most people in this competition, I have had very little life experience. I am a teenager, not yet halfway through my high school career. I have only been outside my home state once and that was when I was much too young to remember it. I have lived a very sheltered Christian life. Most of my time I spend holed up in my room, reading novels, surfing the Web, and contemplating the sad state of the world today.

There is not much I can tell you about my past, because to be honest it is a lot like my present. Sure, I am a little older, a little wiser, but I am still just a girl. I am a girl who is trying to find her place in this world, and a girl who finds it increasingly difficult to do so. I read to escape to a different world -- just as I did at eight or nine, when I read the Harry Potter books for the first time. I write to express myself, to show the parts of myself that I often do not let anyone else see. I yearn to show the world what I have to offer, and to show people that I am so much more than a stereotypical teenager.

I am proud to call myself an Independent. As you will see if you read my journal with any regularity, I used to be a Republican, but after seeing the pointlessness of the whole Republican/Democrat war, being an Independent seemed like the choice to make. That doesn't mean I am not a strong Christian, with strong Christian morals, because I am. It simply means that I prefer to form my own opinions, without worrying what either party is saying. I don't want to feel pigeonholed into believing this is the solution to that, or that this is the only solution to that other thing.

Perhaps the most important thing you need to know about me is that I am a writer.

First and foremost, my goal in life is to be an author. Not necessarily a published author, although that would be nice. I just want people to read something I have written and feel something, whether it be sorrow, joy, or maybe even confusion. If just one person looks at what I've written and is touched by it, then in my mind, writing a hundred stories to get to that one touching moment is worth it. Writing is the way I show people who I am, and without it, I wouldn't be where I am today.

I have been writing since I was about six years old. It suppose it all started in first grade, when I learned to read (or when my teachers first started teaching us how to read, that is; I was probably reading before then). I remember wanting to write, although I wasn't sure how at the time. My first story, which was written in second grade, was entitled "A Sour Skittle Story" and underwent several alterations as time went on. It was never finished, and for a while, writing was on the back burner until I started writing fanfiction. Bam, the passion was back.

That was six years ago.

I have been writing for more than half my life.

Perhaps that's why I entered this competition in the first place. I am a writer who yearns to tell people who I am, and what better way to do that than being in a competition of this magnitude?

I want to tell people about standing on a picnic table in front of my apartment when I was three or four after my family's washing machine broke. I want to tell people about sleeping in my own room in first grade, with the bugs attached to the window and the cockroach I found on my blanket that one night. I want to tell people about taking speech lessons in third grade, and being disappointed in fourth when my teacher didn't seem to like me. I want to tell people about fifth grade when I met my best friend, and sixth grade when I truly became friends with her. I want to tell people about seventh grade, when I spent a whole month researching creationism and evolution and writing down page after page after page of Internet articles. I want to tell them about my experiences in English classes over the years, and how my teachers have -- in one form or another -- showed me what I have to do to fulfill my dream.

To be honest, I just want to tell people the fact that I am a fifteen-year-old Christian Independent girl who has dreams too big for her heart, and a heart too big for her mind.